Five Ways to Improve Your Relationship With Exercise

Exercise should be a tool to improve your mental and physical health, not something that causes feelings of failure or stress. As a mom you have limited time and energy so exercise should be something that brings you joy and positive feelings. You deserve your relationship with exercise to be a healthy one. Here are five ways to improve your relationship with exercise:

1. Drop the “No Excuses” Mentality- whether you’re pregnant, newly postpartum, a mom of a toddler or with kids in school...you’re going to have barriers to exercise. You’re going to have unexpected things get in the way of your plan to workout. With a “no excuses” mentality, you’re sure to feel bad about missing a workout. Those negative feelings are the beginning to a negative relationship with exercise. Stop. Instead work on a strategy to plan for barriers so that you don’t feel bad when they occur.

2. Appreciate Physical Activity-aerobic and strength training is crucial to good health and fitness, however there will be times in your life where “exercise”, which I consider a structured session of physical activity, is less feasible. However things like going for family walks, biking instead of taking the train to work, playing with your kids on the playground...are all ways to keep you active outside of a fitness class or gym. If you choose to appreciate physical activity, your relationship with exercise will seem less stressful.

3. Be realistic: during my consultations, I always ask what’s realistic in terms of how much time you can dedicate to exercise. Factors such as childcare, work, and child naps or help from a partner or other caregiver are always considered. Rather than choosing an arbitrary number, like “I’m going to workout 3 days per week”, ask yourself what’s realistic. This will help you avoid the frustrations of not being able to meet expectations. Personalize your fitness for a good relationship with exercise.

4. Join a community- for exercise to become a habit, surround yourself with people that are already doing what you’re hoping to do. Whether it be a virtual community or Facebook group, or a studio, fitness class or run group...put yourself in a place where you feel supported, motivated and understood. Your environment should be positive in order to have a positive relationship with exercise.

5. Find your why- your reason for exercise before pregnancy is probably different than it is now. Make a list of all of the benefits from exercise. Check yourself to make sure none of them induce negative thoughts. In other words, instead of “so I can fit in my clothes”, try “so I can play with my kids when they ask”. Eliminate any “whys” that are not positive.

Exercise for Mental Health: How Much? How often?

To meet the physical demands of pregnancy and caring for a baby exercise is essential. You'll feel stronger, and more confident and be able to keep up with your kids throughout all stages of motherhood. However, the mental health benefits of exercise shouldn't be forgotten. Prenatal anxiety and postpartum depression during are common. Exercise should be considered a useful tool in preventing and coping with depressive symptoms.

In analyzing results of over 800,000 people as it relates to mental health and exercise, researchers found that exercisers reported nearly 43% fewer mental health burdens than non-exercisers.

So what type of exercises seemed to provide the most benefit?

• Popular sports

• Cycling

• Aerobics/Gym exercises

• Yoga/Tai Chi

How Much? Now as a mom, it can be hard to find the time for exercise, but the good news is that the strongest correlation of exercise and mental health was with sessions of 30-60 minutes. I think it’s fair to say that if you’re finding it stressful to find time to exercise then the shorter end of that range is reasonable. There was no added benefit to sessions longer than 60 minutes.

What about intensity? The study found vigorous exercise was linked to better mental health outcomes, but I’d recommend monitoring your intensities and how you feel post-exercise. Often if we are already overwhelmed and stressed, recovering from high-intensity exercise can be more difficult. This is especially important to consider if you’re a new mom and not getting much sleep, or pregnant and feeling more exhausted. You may find that more moderate-intensity exercise feels better both physically and mentally.

Recommended frequency? The study found that working out 3-5 times per week was the most beneficial. If you’re a busy mom, I’d suggest aiming for 2-3 structured strength sessions per week and then filling in the other days with “physical activity” like walking, playing with your kids at the park, or structured aerobic sessions like biking or running if you have the time and energy. Remember the physical activity guidelines suggest at least 150 minutes per week to meet health guidelines.

So Mama, if you’re looking to reap not just the physical, but also the mental benefits start prioritizing fitness. Remember exercise is not a luxury, it’s a necessity. Please also remember that exercise is a tool and not the only treatment option. If you’re feeling anxious, depressed or experiencing PTSD after having a baby, you are not alone and should seek a referral from your doctor, or look into a virtual therapy company.

When to Start Prenatal Exercise

The short answer: Right away!

But this also depends on what you consider prenatal exercise. Gone are the days when it has to be gentle stretching (although it could be if that’s what you need). In fact, if you watch this video from Nike, you’ll probably feel pretty badass and realize prenatal exercise is going to prepare you for the athletic event that is pregnancy and labor and delivery….a marathon combined with intense sprints.

Prenatal exercise means your training program is designed for the pregnant body. You don’t have to follow a specific set of rules for each trimester. Exercise selection isn’t dictated by the number of weeks you are. A really good prenatal program, simply means you’re going to attempt to put your body in the best position to deal with the demands of pregnancy and motherhood.

Very early in your pregnancy, you may find that prenatal exercise means:

• less intensity because you’re extremely fatigued

• learning how to engage deep abdominal while it's still fairly easy to feel them

• beginning to strengthen pelvic floor muscles

• finding a prenatal exercise specialist to keep you motivated through every trimester

• addressing muscle weakness or tightness that might become an issue later in pregnancy

Later in your pregnancy, prenatal exercise might mean:

• finding new ways to strengthen the core without creating too much abdominal pressure

• reducing impact exercise because it's uncomfortable or your pelvic floor can withstand the load

• calming exercise to help keep your stress low

• making adjustments like switching from pull-ups to rows or floor push-ups to wall push-ups

The above are just examples. Your prenatal program should be based on how you’re feeling, your current fitness level and what you enjoy doing. The earlier you can prep your body for the sport of motherhood, the better.

If you’re ready to start with something simple, download 5 Tips to a Stronger Core During Pregnancy.

Six Healthy Habits I'm Happy I Stuck With (Part One)

WARNING UNSOLICITED MOM ADVICE. I felt it important to start with that disclaimer because mom groups, social media and blogs are full of advice for you on how to be a mom and the choices you should make for your child. Now that may sound slightly cynical, but it’s not meant to. Because certainly there are times where that unsolicited advice is needed and welcomed because you learn that many of us moms are going through the same thing, that you’re not alone and that there are solutions. However the same advice can be overwhelming because similar to fitness, there is no one size fits all approach to parenting.

Camelback Mountain, Poconos

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So now that I’ve given my disclaimer, I’m going to share with you Six Healthy Habits (2 part post) that I believe has made a difference in my daughter's health and perspective of what healthy is. This all comes from a week of reflection as she turned six...hence the 6 tips. Hopefully you can find that one of these is helpful and makes sense for you and your family. And if you don’t agree with any of them, I hope you at least enjoy the perspective that no matter how hard it is to maintain the habits when your kids are toddlers/preschoolers, it can prove to be worth it when they’re a bit older.

1. Ditch the stroller early. I can remember how long it would take to get places by having her walk instead of ride in a stroller at the age of one and two, but in the long run it was worth the pain. She saw walks as something enjoyable as she got to explore the environment around her. She saw walks as a necessity to get somewhere. She saw walks as something we can do together. So now, at the age of six one of her favorite requests is if we can go “explore the city today”. And that’s usually good for a few miles of activity for the both of us.

2. No Treats or Snacks. Before you gasp, we eat snacks but I’ve always been very careful as to what I labeled as “snack foods” and try to stay away from the word “treat”. I’ll explain both. Marketing would like to have us think not only are there specific foods that should be eaten between meals, but that there are also specific snacks that kids should eat. I don’t love those concepts. Instead I’d often give her leftover salmon from dinner for her afternoon snack or ice cream before dinner because I didn’t want her to think of it as a reward, but rather a food we can enjoy once in a while. Where does that leave us now that she’s six? One, we get to enjoy the occasional cookie for breakfast and its no big deal, and two, we avoid too much processed foods because she doesn’t always expect goldfish or crackers between meals.

3. Make Fitness a Family Affair. This is one that I talk about often and somewhat the basis of my business name Active Mom Fitness. To be a mom that is physically active, fit and feels good moving, well...you have to be just that, an “active mom”. And we all know how time consuming kids are, so one solution is to make some of that active or exercise time a family event. This can mean working out together, it can mean walking together, it can mean you getting in a 10 minute workout while “watching” your kid’s gymnastics class. If I removed all of the time I’ve spent exercising with or around my daughter, the amount of activity I have gotten over the years would probably decrease by at least 50%. And where does that leave her and I now? She understands the importance of activity and enjoys participating with me. As an added bonus she is confident and comfortable with physical activity.

Thanks for reading. I’m sure there are some habits that are important to you, but that you’re feeling are difficult to stay consistent with (especially when it comes to nutrition and exercise with kids). My unsolicited advice is to keep trying because it will be worth it, mama. Make sure to check out habits 4-6 in the next post.

If you like my perspective and would like me to help you manage family and fitness, contact me.